Behind the Scenes
by Christ's Disciple
Summary: Summary at the beginning of the first chapter. Only own my OCs and plots. Everything else is something I wish I owned.
1. Coffee Troubles

**Alright. Well, this is just a series of one-shots that you can put practically anywhere in my series of KFP. Some will be somewhat specific. Others, not so much. Anyways, this will be filled with crack-fics, song-fics, basically any kind of fic you can find. This won't be updated everyday like my other stories. It will be updated when i have inspiration. If there are any questions you want answered, you may ask them, and I'll answer them with a one-shot(most of the time). If you want to request a song-fic, you may, but there are rules. No Jackson 5, the Jacksons, Micheal Jackson, or Justin Bieber. If you want them, don't ask me to do them. Also, I prefer doing Seventies and Christian songs. But, I'll do others. So, ya. I think I covered everything. If I think of something else, I'll be sure to let you know. Enjoy!**

DB and Matthew were staring intently at each other in the courtyard and it was like a scene in an old Western when a shoot out is about to go down. There was even some music playing in the background- provided by Informant- that helped to intensify the moment. Matthew's hand twitched. DB got a twitch in his left eye, but his face held a confident smirk. Shifu was on the platform he was on during the Dragin Warrior tournament. The others were all next to him making bets. Shifu finally said out of nowhere, "BEGIN!" DB and Matthew rushed forward and...began eating bowls of noodles. There were one hundred bowls for each of them. Any uneaten bowls would be taken care of by Po. Mr. Ping was next to the table, continuing to cook. The warriors all looked on with anticipation, hoping that they would win the bet. Those rooting for DB were Wan, Tigress, Po, Mantis, Informant, Viper, and Zeng. Everyone else was for Matthew. Though, Shifu did not put a bet in. He just watched with an amused smile.

After about an hour, DB and Matthew were stuffed and tied. One of them had to eat just one more bowl to win. They slowly began to eat there other bowl. About halfway through, Matthew couldn't go anymore. DB won by half a bowl. He then passed out. Po was doing a victory dance. The rest just had grins. Wayward Son sighed. "I should have bet on DB." He shook his head and gave a bag of cookies to the victors. Crane had tilted his hat tilted down in shame. Monkey was crying. The other two Wu sisters had an 'Oh well' expression. They all handed over their bags of cookies.

Shifu walked down the steps with a smirk. "I'm glad you both had a nice time. Now, I need you both to run to Gongmen City and back."

DB let out a groan. Matthew tried glaring, but couldn't manage it. "I don't think either of us could manage a walk to the valley." DB let out another groan.

Shifu then smirked. "Well. You better make yourselves able to handle it because I heard that there is a one day sale on coffee in Gongmen City today." With that, DB stood up faster than anyone thought possible, grabbed a cart of Matthew's gold and grabbed Matthew and the two were gone in a flash. "I knew that would get them going."

Informant and Wayward Son chuckled. Wan just asked a logical question. "Is there really a sale on coffee?"

"no. They aren't even selling coffee."

At that, Informant and Wayward Son stopped chuckling and their expressions turned to those of horror. "Y-you lied about c-cof-fee t-to D-DB-B?"

"Yes. Is there a problem?"

Informant coughed. "Well. Uh. We'll uh. We'll just be in our dimension now. Um. Let us know if you survive." They then quickly left through a portal.

"I wonder what they're worried about." Everyone shrugged at Monkey's statement.

Out of the horizon, dark storm clouds started forming and were heading towards the Jade Palace at an alarming rate. "Hey are clouds suposed to move that fast?" Po pointed towards said clouds, and everyone shook their heads.

With a flash of lightning, the clouds were at the threshold of the palace gatewas there with a look of an intense, hot anger that would make the sun look like Antarctica. "You _lied _about _coffee_!" He drew his katana slowly, making all the warriors take a step back. "You. WILL! Pay." He then charged at them.

The fight was short. But, wiithin that time, DB had defeated all the warriors, destroyed the Hall of Warriors, the training hall, the kitchen, the barracks, the Dragon Grotto, and the Wu sisters fortress. The last one is beyond anyone who asks. The day after the battle, everyone was sitting at a table in what was left of the kitchen. Po had a cast on his arm and a bandage wrapped around his waist. Tigress had an eyepatch, a piece of her ear taken out and was in a wheelchair. Mantis was in a full body cast. Crane had his neck wrapped up- which prevented talking- had his wings wrapped up to be against his sides and one leg was also wrapped. Viper had an ice pack on her head and had bandages on various portions of her body. Monkey had his tail bandaged and had an ice pack n his jaw along with another on his left shoulder and his right arm was wrapped btween the elbow and shoulder. Wing and Su were identical with their bandages. They were rubbing their shoulders with bandages on their arms and wrppings along their midections and wrappings on their knees. Wan had only an eyepatch pver her right eye. Matthew had nothing since he wasn't there. Shifu was in a full body cast. He was currently trying to get his mouth on a straw to drink from a cup, unsuccessfully. DB was smiling contently while sipping from a cup of coffee. "This is why you don't lie about coffee to me. At least Wayward Son and Informant know how to take care of all injuries." He took another sip of coffee.

Matthew just smirked and shook his head. "Am I glad I wasn't here to see the carnage you caused. Just remind me to never get in the way of you and your coffee."

Shifu had finally gotten a drink from his cup. "Yes. And you will be fixing this entire place."

"Understandable. This is actually minor compared to what I have done in the past." Everyone gaped at him. He shrugged. "What!? In another dimension, I am the reason Atlantis became a lost city. And it was all because of coffee."

"Well, i could actually believe it. Especially if you had all your abilities present." Wan was the one who spoke.

"Well, I would only be able to use lightning and my personal favorite ability that really wouldn't do anything towards destroying anything. Just remember. Don't lie about coffee."

**Wow. That is what happens when I am just writing what comes to my mind. Review.**


	2. Where's DB

**Hey! I'm here with another one-shot. Enjoy it.**

Wan was walking through the palace, looking for DB. She walked into the kitchen, only to find Monkey, Mantis, and Crane having a conversation. "I'm telling you two, she told me herself tha-"

"Oh yeah right." Monkey chuckled dryly. "Like Tigress would say that to you."

"I knew you two would ask about it eventually, so I asked her and she said that she knew as well that you two would ask, so she told me-"

Mantis cut him off with a scoff. "There is no way I'll believe you."

"What are you guys talking about?" The boys all turned to Wan.

"Well, we were having a debate over if Tigress is black with orange stripes or orange with black stripes and Crane here," Monkey pointed a thumb at the bird, "says that she is orange with black stripes. But, me and Mantis knows better."

Wan arches an eyebrow. "All tigers are orange with black stripes. All felines know this."

Crane gave a victorious smirk. "Told ya."

Wan stepped in before it could go any farther. "Have any of you seen DB today?"

They all looked at each other slightly like they were hiding a secret. "No." They answered in unity. Wan eyed them suspisciously. But, she left before questioning farther. They all breathed a sigh of relief, before returning to their previous discussion.

**Training room**

Wan came in here to see Tigress flip Po into the Jade Tortoise. He rolle around for a while before he finally got out, surprisingly not dizzy. Tigress came in for a series of punches, that Po blocked. He sent a kick, but she flipped out of the way and onto the spinning dragons. Po got on there with her and the two dodged the swining clubs while sparring. Eventually, Po was hit into the wall next to Wan. Tigress jumped off, landing next to her. "Hello, Wan. How are you today?"

"I'm fine. I just came here looking for DB. Have you seen him?"

"Not today."

"What about you Po?" She turned to the still dazed panda.

"Huh?" He shook his head to rid his vision of the stars.

"Have you seen DB?"

"Um...Uh...I..uhh. Who?" He was obviously nervous.

Wan sighed and hung her head. "I'll see you guys later." She walked out, but didn't see Tigress slap the back of Po's head and begin to quietly rebuke him.

**With DB**

DB was wearing the ninja armor and was beside a small fire and a small bowl of metal shavings. He had a bigger piece of metal in his hands. He set it on some coal for a little bit. He removed it and bent it slightly, then took one of the shavings and stuck it in the fire before sticking it to the piece of metal he was working with and bent it a little more.

**Barracks**

Wan walked down the halls and only one room had anyone in it. It was Viper's. She knocked on the door. "Come in!"

Wan opened the door and Viper had one of her ribbons out. "Hello Viper."

"Oh, hello Wan! How are you?"

"I'm doing good, but everyone is acting weird."

Viper leaned in. "How so?"

"Well, whenever I ask about if they've seen DB, they seem to be acting like they're hiding something. You wouldn't happen to know anything, would you?" Wan looked at her intensely.

"Not today. Last time I seen him was last night at supper." Viper shook her head, but she had a sly smile on her face.

Wan gave a small glare. "You wouldn't happen to know where he is, would you?"

Viper chuckled slightly. "Why should I know where that wiley coyote is?" Wan gave her a warning glare before leaving, causing Viper to giggle a little more.

**Courtyard**

Wan was about to enter the Sacred Hall of Warriors, but Wayward Son and Informant were sparring right in front of the doors, keeping her from even getting close. When she did, they would get hit into her way. She got tired of this, so she drew her katana and quickly attacked the two. They didn't have much time to react. They had just drawn their swords in time for Wan to disarm them. She had them both at sword point. "Do either of you know where DB is?" Nither made a move to answer. She touched their necks with the blades. They did what any sane man would. They fell backwards into portals. Wan sighed and turned to enter, only to have Jong blocking the way. She gave up entering there and left.

**with DB**

He had a longer piece of metal in his hands now. He tested it to see how flexible it was. He had to do some changes, but now, it was fairly flexible. He smiled at his achievement. He lowered the mask to the helmet and got back to working on making the..whatever it was.

**Sacred Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom**

Matthew was sitting here, just looking over the scenery. He turned when he heard someone coming. It was Wan. "Hello. How are you doing?"

"Drop the friendly act."

Matthew snorted. "Someone is being a sourpuss. Wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?"

Wan let out an irritated groan. "I am _not_ in the mood right now! Just tell me if you have seen DB. If not, tell me if you know where he is."

"Well, let me think. I seen him when I first woke up, with the usual rude awakening, even though we have a free day. Not sure where exactly he is now."

"Do you know approximately where he is?" Now Matthew looked back to the scenery, refusing to answer. Wan quickly grabbed him and slammed him against the tree. "Where. Is. He!?" Wan had fire in her eyes.

"I-in th-the w-woods." Matthew looked like he was about to wet himself. Wan dropped him and headed for the woods.

**With DB**

His work was almost done. He just needed a little more time. "DB!" Time was not something he had. He quickly put the metal in his sack that he brought with him.

He took off his armor and turned to Wan. "Wan! What are you doing here?"

She stood right up in his face with a glare. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!"

DB's ears flattened against his head. "Um. What?"

"OH DON'T PLAY DUMB WITH ME! YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!"

DB's eyes shot around. "Um...I'm honestly not playing dumb. I have no idea why you are angry with me."

"HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN WHAT TODAY IS!? OR HAVE YOU BEEN TOO BUSY CAMPING TO REMEMBER!? WELL!?"

DB's eyes were darting around. He needed a way to calm the feline. He still needed time for what he was doing and he was sure that her sisters and Shifu still had more to do. "Wan. Please calm down." Not the best idea, but it was the best he had.

Wan's eyes seemed to have a white hot fire in them burning right through DB's skull. He would even swear he felt something akin to his Righteous Fury at full blast coming from her. "CALM DOWN!? CLM DOWN!" He instanly regretted it. "YOU WANT ME TO CALM DOWN AFTER YOU FORGOT THE ANNINVERSARY OF WHEN WE FIRST STARED DATING!?"

DB's eyes darted around, hoping to find the coorect words to say. "Uhhh. Please calm down and let me explain?" He winced waiting for the reply.

Wan did not let her glare let up. After a few seconds, she finally spoke through gritted teeth. "you have twenty seconds."

DB took a deep breath. "i'll start by saying I didn't forget our anniversary, I was actually working on your present out here and I was having everyone cover for me the best they could I also have another surprise waiting for you bakc at the palace, but had to have others keep you from looking in on it so you didn't ruin it." He took another breath and let it out. "Done."

Wan's gaze had softened. "Soo...Everyone's funny behavior was because of you having a surprise for me?" DB nodded. She then slapped him in the back of the head. "You should of already had it ready!"

DB rubbed where she slapped. "Well, I had it planned for months, but I had to wait for Informant to get me what I needed and he got them to me late last night and I was too tired from all those bandit attacks last night to make it in the middle of the night and have it be at the quality you deserve." He slowly wrapped his arms around her waist. "And you deserve the best." He gave her a kiss on the forehead. "And that's all I'm going to give you."

Wan layed her head in his chest and hugged him back. He began rubbing her back. "I'm sorry for being angry at you. I should have known you had something planned."

"It's okay." He then smirked and joked. "But, I may hold onto your present because of it."

Wan leaned back enough for him to see her eyes. "After what I've gone through, I'm getting the present today."

DB chuckled. "Alright. But you have to do two things for me."

"What?"

"Well, go to the palace and wait for me to return with your present."

"Done. What's the second one?"

"Tell me how you found out where I was."

"I sort of scared it out of Matthew for a general direction. Then, I followed the smell of smoke."

DB nodded his head satisfied with this answer. "Remind me not to make you angry again. Tell me. Did Matthew look like he was gonna wet himself?"

Wan chuckled. "He may have."

DB nodded. "I hope he did." When Wan gave him a questioning look, he continued, "That way, I'll have something to tease him about."

"You." The two kissed.

"Now, get back to the Palace."

"Alright." Wan left after that, and DB got back to work.

**Courtyard, evening**

Wan was sitting on the steps, watching the last rays of sunlight fall behind the mountains. "Hey, beautiful." Wan smiled and turned around to see DB with his fur smoothed and shiny and he was wearing fairly nice clothes. He held a bouqet of roses in one hand and a box with a bow in another. Wn took the box and opened it to reveal...chocolates. She raised an eyebrow in confusion and looked towards DB. He chuckled. "Look under the chocolates."

It turned out the chocolates were in a smaller box. Under them was a beautiful necklace. It looked like three pieces of metal. The 'chain' was all one solid piece There was a loop that connected to a heart. DB opened the heart up, and there was a smaller version of the painting from when they saved China from Diablo taking it over, though it only had their faces down to their shoulders in it. "DB. You shouldn't have."

DB smirked. "Then you'll really be saying that about what I have planned now." He held out his hand for her to grab. She did, and he led her up to the Sacred Hall of Warriors. Inside was a party set up. The geusts were all the Kung-fu masters, the emperor of China, the ninjas, and Matthew's cousin. It was decorated with golden and silver streamers, paintings of Wan and DB, and refreshments, of course. "Well?"

"It's..beautiful." She turned to him. "i love it." She grabbed him in a hug.

"It's all for you." He let out a chuckle. "Anything wrong with it?"

"Only one." He leaned back to look at her. "You didn't go this all out for my birthday. Why's that?"

DB's mind raced a mile a minute in an attempt to keep from seeing a repeat in the forest. Everyone else was looking in expectation. "Because...this day is the day that I was able to first meet the most beautiful creature in all creation." He gave her a loving smile.

He tried giving her a kiss, but she pushed him away. "A for effort. But, if it wasn't for my birthday, you'd never be able to meet me in the first place, so try again."

DB was now sweating. "ALRIGHT! I didn't go all out because it came up on me and I was so busy with protecting the Valley that it slipped my mind until a few days before, so I did the best I could and I was hoping that this could make up for it." He cringed in expectation of her screaming. Instead, he was surprised by her hugging him, and then nibbling his ear. Followed by kisses on the neck and purring. "you're not mad?"

"Only because you tried lying to me at first. But, you did admit the truth in the end and you did do this as trying to make it up to me, so I forgive you." She gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Next time, be straight-forward with me."

"Alright."

"GET A ROOM YOU TWO!" Mantis was next to the wall in an instant from throwing knives from all the ninjas in the room. "I-I mean d-don't mind us. Keep doing what you're doing." He gulped in fear. DB and Wan just chuckled before bringing each other in for a kiss.

**Awww. Ain't dat sweet. Well, review! And remember, if you want me to do a song-fic for a specific song, I'll do it. Or, if there is a question you want to ask, feel free to do so and I'll answer the question as best I can through a one-shot.**


	3. Summer Camp Blues

**Hello everyone. I am back and have read enough fanfics to get me into the writing mood. Alright. This one-shot is going to be the longest one I've ever wrote. It has almost everything I learned at Summer Camp. The reason why it doesn't have everything is because it wouldn't flow with the rest of it. After reading this, you may be saying, "The other stuff wouldn't flow. But, this was supposed to? You must have a different definition of flow." I'll admit, I may not have the best flow for this one shot and it may seem random, but the other stuff would not fit in.**

**DB: WAIT!**

**Me: What?**

**DB: I read the script and it only lists things you want in the story.**

**Me: Ya. I really have next to know idea how this is gonna go. So, it is just gonna go how it goes.**

**DB: This is gonna be a greeeaaat story.**

**Me: I've written with less. Now, on to the show!**

DB is walking through the Jade Palace looking at a list. Yes, it is the script he talked about in the intro. He is smiling a devious smile. "This is gonna be so much fun."

"What is gonna be so much fun?" DB jumped to the voice and turned to find Master Shifu. "Well?"

DB stammered and looked at the list. He then quickly said,"PTERODACTYLS DON'T HAVE TO ANSWER QUESTIONS! KE-KAW!" He then ran away flapping his arms leaving behind a very confused Master Shifu.

**Barracks**

DB ran into his room and closed the door. He then immediately fell to the floor laughing his head off. He kept laughing for a good five minutes. He finally settled down. "Well, that was pretty fun." He let out a chuckle as he looked at the list. "It's going to be so much better as time goes on. Especially with the ninjas joining me." He began laughing again. He put the list away and walked out with a smile stuck on his face.

"Why you smiling so much?" DB turned to Mantis and Monkey.

"Maybe he and Wan finally did it." Mantis began chuckling only recieving a glare from DB. He quickly stopped.

"If I didn't have a list of things to do that I need to memorize, I would tackle you and force you into a spar." Mantis gulped.

"Hey, DB." They turned to Crane. "It's your turn to sweep the Hall of Warriors."

DB tapped his chin and replied, "Uuummmm... Pterodactyls don't have responsibilities, Ke-kaw!" He then again ran off leaving confused warriors.

Crane blinked. "Anyone know what just happened?"

Mantis shrugged and said, "Maybe he finally lost his mind."

"Who did?" The voice was Tigress.

"DB," was the unified response.

"You're really just now thinking that?" Tigress chuckled and began walking off. "That happened a long time ago."

**The next morning**

The gong rang and everyone said, "Good morning Master."

"Good morning students." He then noticed DB's door remained closed. "Anyone know why DB didn't wake up?" Everyone shook their heads. Before Shifu could tell anyone to wake him up, DB and Wayward Son walked in wearing sunglasses and DB with a skull cap and Wayward Son wearing a cowboy hat. "Where were you?" He recieved no answer as DB and Wayward Son just grabbed brooms and started sweeping Master Shifu's feet, leaving him baffled. Then they swept his back. "Uhh, what are you two doing?" They soon stopped and began sweeping the other warriors. After they finished sweeping, they dissappeared in a cloud of smoke. Shifu then cleared his throat after he regained his senses. "We'll eat breakfast and then train."

**kitchen**

The group walked in to find DB sitting at the table, carving something into a block of wood using his katana. DB turned to them and said, "Hey guys. How're you?"

Po replied, "Good. What was with you and Wayward Son this morning?" DB gained a confused expression. "You both walked in wearing sunglasses and different hats and were randomly sweeping." DB kept the confused expression. "Did you seriously forget that?"

"I was here all morning. Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to have gotten this far on the carving." He held up what he was carving, which was a half finished carved version of Da Vinci's "Last Supper".

They all looked very surprised. "That is great."

"Thank you, Viper. I bet you guys met the unknowns." They all looked skeptically at him. "They are just two random guys that come from nowhere. The author seen them at every closing campfire during Summer camp." They still didn't look convinced. DB shrugged and said, "Well, if I can't convince you, no one will."

Shifu just shook his head. "Let's have breakfast." Po got to work on the noodles.

**45 minutes later**

Everyone was almost done eating. DB randomly stood up and ninjas came through a portal and handed DB a fork with a sausage patty on it. He began to grin, but kept himself from laughing. "Everyone, today the ninjas had one of the greatest foods. The sausage. Now, to celebrate it, we will sing a song about it. It goes a little like this." Then, he and the ninjas began singing while dancing/marching around the kitchen. (A/N: The song is called, "Jonnie Verbeck". The dancing goes along with what their singing. Not sure how to describe the tune to you other than it is upbeat. Well, enjoy.)

_Oh, mister, mister Jonnie Verbeck_

_How could you be so mean?_

_I told you you'd be sorry for inventing that machine._

_Now all the neighbors _

_Cats and Dogs will nevermore be seen._

_They've all been ground into sausages in Jonnie Verbecks machine._

_Oh, once there was a Dutch man who was named Jonnie Verbeck._

_He made the finest sausages from Saurkraut to Spek._

_He made the finest sausages the world had ever seen._

_Then one day, he invented a wonderful sausage making machine._

_Oh, mister, mister Jonnie Verbeck_

_How could you be so mean?_

_I told you you'd be sorry for inventing that machine._

_Now all the neighbors _

_Cats and Dogs will nevermore be seen._

_They've all been ground into sausages in Jonnie Verbecks machine._

_Now once there was a Dutch boy who came walking in the store._

_He bought a pound of sauseges and laid them along the floor._

_He then began to whistle, he whistled up a tune_

_and all the little sausages began dancing 'round the room._

_Oh, mister, mister Jonnie Verbeck_

_How could you be so mean?_

_I told you you'd be sorry for inventing that machine._

_Now all the neighbors _

_Cats and Dogs will nevermore be seen._

_They've all been ground into sausages in Jonnie Verbecks machine._

_Now one day the machine was busted, the darn thing wouldn't go_

_So, Joniie Verbeck climed inside to see what made it so._

_His wife had a nightmare, a walkin' in her sleep._

_She gave the crank A HECK OF A YANK! and Jonnie Verbeck was meat._

_Oh, mister, mister Jonnie Verbeck_

_How could you be so mean?_

_I told you you'd be sorry for inventing that machine._

They all began to slow down.

_Now all the neighbors _

_Cats and Dogs will nevermore be seen._

_They've all been ground into sausages in Jonnie Verbecks machine._

They held out the last note fairly long. When they finished, their were varied stages of shock coming from the table. DB simply ate the sausage patty off the fork, and that made a few of the warriors hold their mouths to keep from puking. Shifu blinked and then shook his head. "DB?" DB turned his attention to Shifu and smiled innocently. "Why did you do that?"

"Pterodactyls don't have to explain themselves, ke-kaw!"

The ninjas all responded with, "Ke-kaw!" They then all ran off flapping their arms. DB was the last one out of the room.

Wayward Son then jumped down through a portal and shouted, "THIRTY SECOND CLEAN-UP STARTS NOW!" He then began to clean-up the table with the other warriors looking confused. "Come on! We have only thirty seconds, get to cleaning!" They were still in too much shock to do anything.

Twenty seconds in, Informant jumped down and began counting down. "TEN! NINE! EIGHT! SEVEN! SIX FIVE! FOUR! THREE! TWO! ONE!" He then made a buzzing noise, along with the ninjas that returned near the end of the countdown. He then shouted, "IF YOU ARE NOT A TABLE WAITER, YOU ARE DISMISSED!" Then he, Wayward Son, and the ninjas all vanished in a puff of smoke.

The warriors all blinked with open mouths. Po was the first to say something. "Anyone have any idea what that was about?" They all shook their heads.

Shifu began rubbing his temples. "Everyone, just go train. I have meditation to do." The warriors left for the training hall.

**Training hall**

DB was just hanging out in the training hall, literally. He was hanging from one of the seven talon rings when the others walked in. "Hey guys! You ready for some training?"

Matthew chuckled and said, "Sure. As long as you don't randomly start singing for no reason. Or do something else randomly."

DB smirked. "No promises."

The training went on without a hitch or random song. Shifu came in and cleared his throat. Everyone lept to where Shifu was. "Students, I have a wonderful announcement." Oh, how he regretted that word soon after, because DB and the ninjas all began singing, DB starting, with the first three words alone. (A/N: No need to say this song's name, but, I'l give you a general idea of how the beat is. It starts out upbeat)

_Announcements, announcements, annooouuuncments!_

The ninjas all began pushing Shifu around in a circle while the ones on the outside just danced to the song to go along with the song.

_A terrible death to die! A terrible death to die!_

_A terrible death, a horrible death, a terrible death to die!_

_Announcements, announcements, annooouuuncements!_

The next verse was much slower.

_We sold our cooow. We sold our cooow._

_We have no neeeed, for your bull now!_

It then picked back up.

_Pile it up in the corner. Pile it up in the corner._

_Pile it up in the corneeer! It helps the flowers grow._

_Have you ever seen a windbag, a windbag, a windbag_

_Well there's one right now!_

The all pointed to Shifu.

_It blows this way and that way, it blows this way and that way._

_Have you ever seen a windbag, well there's one right now!_ "SPEAK, FREAK!"

Monkey, Mantis, and Po were laughing. Crane hid his face behind his hat- maybe to hide his laughter. Viper and Matthew covered their mouths to contain their laughter. Tigress didn't know how to react. Shifu had anger completely flowing out of him. If glares could kill, DB would be long gone. He spoke through clenched teeth. "DB!" DB just smiled at him. "Explain yourself. NOW!"

DB chuckled, then he- along with all the ninjas in unison- replied, "Pterodactyls don't have to explain themselves! Ke-kaw!" They then all fell through a portal.

Shifu took a few calming breaths. "Because of that, we will not be going to the party the emperor invite us to. I'll make sure he understands why."

Zeng then ran in. "BANDITS IN THE VALLEY!" Shifu just pointed to the valley and the warriors left.

Po stopped and said, "Wait! What about DB?"

"With how he is right now, we are probably better off without him." Shifu walked towards the Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom while Po ran to catch the others.

**In the Valley**

The warriors came to the attack, which was just a small group of wolves. They all came to a stop. One of the wolves chuckled. "Well, look what we have here. Some wanna-be heroes, I suppose?"

Tigress growled, but before anyone could say anything, DB shouted from one of the rooftops, "SINGING!" Then he lept off, followed by ninjas coming from nowhere and they began singing. (A/N: It's called "Men of Nairobi". It goes at a medium speed. Whenever it goes "Oon" They will slap their thighs. And when they go "Ga" or "Wa" they clap. That's all)

_Oon Ga Wa, Oon Ga Wa_

_Oon Ga Wa, Oon Ga Wa_

_Oon Ga Wa Wa!_

_We're the men from Nairobi and our teams a good one!_

_We played the Watoosi, they're SEVEN FEET TALL!_

_The canibals may eat us, but they'll never beat us!_

_Cause we're from Nairobi, THE BEST OF THEM ALL!_

_Singing,_

_Oon Ga Wa, Oon Ga Wa_

_Oon Ga Wa, Oon Ga Wa_

_Oon Ga Wa Wa!_

_They sent fifteen men up from Kilamenjaro,_

_But they didn't have what it takes.__** NO GUTS!**_

_We took all the losers out into the jungle_

_And left them tied up for the snakes. __**POOR SNAKES!**_

_Singing,_

_Oon Ga Wa, Oon Ga Wa_

_Oon Ga Wa, Oon Ga Wa_

_Oon Ga Wa Wa!_

_The men from Arcanian, now their team's a good one,_

_We faced them about this time last year.__** LAST YEAR!**_

_Their number one player was disqualified_

_when he fell on a Nairobi spear. __**WHAT A SHAFT! Get the point?**_

_Singing,_

_Oon Ga Wa, Oon Ga Wa_

_Oon Ga Wa, Oon Ga Wa_

_Oon Ga Wa Wa_.

All the singers then went, "HEY!" And threw their hands up. Everyone- even the bandits- didn't know what to do. Then, DB and the ninjas then quickly attacked the bandits and took them out quickly. The warriors didn't even have time to overcome their shock by the time they were finished. DB walked up to the group and smiled. "How you doin'?"

Tigress shook herself out of the shock. "Why did you sing the song?"

DB shrugged and replied, "Because it would distract the bandits and we'd be able to sneak attack them after the song was over."

"Well, it was effective."

"I noticed. Shouldn't we get back to the Jade Palace?"

"Of course." The group then headed back to the Jade Palace.

**Jade Palace**

The group got to the top and headed to the kitchen for lunch. When they got there, Shifu was massaging his temples. "What's wrong, Master Shifu?" Shifu just glared daggers at DB. "What!?" He looked genuinely surprised.

"You know what. Because of what you've done, you will not eat anything for lunch and supper. Now, go and train."

"Pterodactyls don't have to train! Ke-kaw!"

Shifu stopped him from running off. "You do have to train if you want to eat tomorrow."

"I can just have the ninjas bring food to me. Bye now." DB then lept over Shifu and ran down the hall, flapping his arms all the way. No one seen him for the rest of the day.

**The next morning(Tuesday)**

The gong rang, but the second everyone stepped out of their rooms, a white foam filled the entire hallway. Shifu's head stuck out of the foam and he had a Santa beard made by the foam. Everyone else poked out of the foam with a different style beard and mustache formed by foam. The culprit was founf imediately, since DB was laughing hysterically and not covered in foam and holding a fire extinguisher. "DB!" DB slowed on his laughing, but kept chuckling as he turned his attention to Shifu. "What is the meaning of this!"

"Fire extinguisher Tuesday!" He began laughing again. He then dived into the foam and his laughing stopped. Then, DB and Wayward came walking in again with their sunglasses and hats. They quickly cleaned up the foam. After they cleaned up the foam and stood beside Shifu with their arms crossed.

Shifu face-palmed. "What are you two doing?" He got no response. He just sighed. "Normal routine." He began walking off and DB and Wayward Son stayed by his side. Whenever he stopped, they stopped. He moved to the side, they moved to the side. He just shook his head and walked off with both of them following him.

The warriors talked while walking to the kitchen. "So, anyone else as curious as I am about what is going on with DB?"

Tigress replied, "Po. I think everyone is curious about it. We need to get him to explain himself."

"How will we do it?" Everyone stopped at Matthew's question. "We know we can't try cornering him, since he could just make a portal out of there. So, what are we going to do?"

Everyone pondered his question as they continued to the kitchen. The answer came when they opened the door. The Wu sisters were sitting at the table. Wan was facing the door and waved. "Where's DB?" The warrior's all looked at each other, then back at Wan. "What?"

**Dragon's Grotto**

DB and Wayward Son had left Shifu. DB was sitting on a rock, smiling about what had happened and what he was going to do next. He was brought out of his thoughts when he heard someone behind him say, "Hello, DB." The voice sent chills down his spine. He turned around and his eyes practically popped out of his head. Joy appeared beside him and his eyes did pop out of his head, only to regrow in their sockets. DB hit Joy in the face while staring at Wan. She had a light blue dress that went just below her knees with a darker blue trim. It had a flower pattern on it, going from the base on the left side up about half way. She had a little blush on her cheeks and some eye liner and mascarra. She also had a flower behind her right ear. "I'm guessing you like it."

DB shook himself out of his thoughts and wiped the drool that had started coming out of his mouth. "You look very beautiful, Wan." She chuckled. "But, I'm not going to tell you why I'm doing what I'm doing."

Wan tilted her head to the side and asked in as innocent of a voice as she could, "What are you talking about? How do you know that I'm not here to ask if we were going to the emperor's party?"

DB smirked. "You wouldn't dress like that unless we were going for sure and we were leaving right away. It isn't for a week. Also, Shifu isn't going to allow us to go. So, the only other option is that you want to get information out of me."

Wan sighed. "Well, you caught me. I guess we could just sit here for a while." She began wlking forward, but DB jumped onto the Dragon. "What's wrong?"

"I know that once my defense is down, you'll ask."

"Why do you think that is what I'll do?" DB deadpanned. "Okay. You got me. But, the others are wondering, and I was their only option."

DB smiled. "I knew they'd eventually try using you to get me to tell. I'll make you deal. I'll tell you and let you join, as long as you don't tell them the 'why' behind it."

"Are you sure I'll want to join?"

"You don't have to. But, I'm sure you will want to."

Wan sighed. "Alright. Why are you doing it?"

DB smirked and jumped down. He leaned in, but before he answered, he took a whiff of her perfume, and he practically melted from it. "You smell so nice."

"They wanted to make sure you had no way to fight against my charm."

"Well, it's working. Anyway. Why I'm doing this." He began whispering.

When he stopped, Wan just looked at him. "Seriously?" DB nodded. "That's it?" He nodded again. She shrugged. "Well, it does sound like fun. And it would annoy my sisters. So, what are we going to do next?"

DB smirked. "We're just going to enjoy each other's company. Then, I'll tell you everything that we'll be doing." Wan smiled and the two sat down facing the entrance and were hugging each other.

**Supper time, Wu sisters' fortress**

Wing and Su were in the middle of their meal, when Wan walked in with a smile on her face. "I see you had a good time with DB." Wan simply nodded and let out a chuckle. "Did you find out what they wanted you to?" Another nod. Su and Wing leaned in, prompting her to tell them. "Are you going to tell us?" Wan shook her head. "Why not?"

"He made me promise not to."

Su and Wing leaned back in their chairs. "Well, at least you tried. Want something to eat?"

"No. I ate already."

"Alright. Well, since you're not going to eat, could you get started cleaning the main foyer and we'll join you later."

She snickered and replied, "Pterodactyls don't have to clean! KE-KAW!" She then left running while flapping her arms and chuckling.

Su and Wing looked at where Wan ran off, then at each other. "Did she just..."

"Uh-huh."

"Isn't that what..."

"Yep."

"This is just great." They both sighed as they continued eating.

**Jade Palace, Kitchen**

Everyone was sitting around the table, waiting for DB to do something, but he just kept eating. They kept eyeing him. When they finished, they left without a word. Mantis was the first to speak. "That was surprisingly uneventful."

He wanted eventful, he got it, because DB and Wayward Son walked in with their hats and sunglasses. Wayward son was carrying two buckets. He sat donw on one and sat the other down in front of him, tilting slightly forward. DB sat a box down and stood on it. Wayward Son then started "Wipeout" and DB started dancing to it.(A/N: I didn't do the lyrics to it since it is literally only one word.) After they were done, they just left. "You were saying?"

Mantis shrugged. "Well, it could of been worse."

Joy came out of an empty bowl of soup, surprising everyone and saying, "He's right. He could of song another song, but the author didn't know all the words, so he didn't." He then wnet back into the bowl so fast that it flipped upside down. They flipped it back and it was empty. They then cleaned up and went to bed.

**The next afternoon, courtyard(Wednesday)**

Everyone walked out there since Po had told them they wouldn't believe what was happening. When they got there, trumpets began blowing. DB then walked forward while wearing the clothing of someone from Medeival Europe. "Here, ye. Here, ye! Today we will now crown the queen of...well that thrown and the ninjas. Come forth and acept your throne, Wan Wu!" Wan then stepped forward and sat on the "throne"- which was just a chair- and DB and Wayward Son sat a fake crown on her head together. The three were smiling and chuckling slightly during the process. They then turned away. DB shouted out, "ALL HAIL THE QUEEN!"

All the ninjas responded with, "ALL HAIL THE QUEEN!" They then all got to one knee and bowed before getting back up. They then all threw down a smoke bomb and everything was gone.

Their were eight face-palms after that. Po was the only one that didn't. "What was that all about?"

Everyone just shook their heads in response. DB then came up behind them. "Hey guys." They all turned to him. He let out a grin, basically daring them to ask him what it was about. No one did. He didn't seem to mind. He just randomly shouted out, "GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!" He said it with a fake British accent.

Out of nowhere, the ninjas and Wan all responded with, "GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!"

DB then continued with, "HAIL BRITANIA!"

"HAIL BRITANIA!"

They then all dissappeared again. Shifu sighed. "Let's just go back to the training hall."

**Training hall**

They were all there, even DB. They were deep into training, when Wayward Son walked in and next to Shifu and watched them train alongside him. He then cleared his throat and yelled out, "GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!"

Ninjas came out of nowhere and responded with DB, "GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!" They then left. DB just continued training like nothing happened.

Po was sparring with DB when he asked, "Do you guys have it planned when you're going to do that?"

"Nope."

"So, you're just going to do it randomly?"

"Yep."

"Why?"

"Cause. That's as close as you're gonna get with me." DB then hit Po in the gut into the wall across from him.

Shifu then snapped his fingers and everyone went to him, but DB dissappeared. He was found when he and Wayward Son just walked in with the sunglasses and hats, but they had the introduction of swimming flippers and floaties on their arms. They walked onto the training field and acted like they weren't even feeling the things hitting them or the pillars of flame burning them. When they reached the other side, they simply walked through a portal. Shifu shook his head. "We will now have supper and go to sleep."

When they began to leave, DB and the ninjas stopped them. DB then smirked and he, Wan(who was still wearing her fake crown) and Wayward Son yelled out, "We will now sing one of my favorite songs."

The ninjas called out, "It's my favorite too!"

"First, we need our fishing poles." Then, DB Wayward Son, and Wan all pretended to hold fishing poles. "We will go through it once and then, we'll go again and all of you will join in. Ready, you two."

"Yep."

"Alright!" (A/N: I'll make sure to give you all the motions as best i can.) The three raised their hands above their heads as they started.

_Haaave yooouuu_ (they brought their hands down and pretended to be reeling in a fish)

_Ever gone a fishin' on_ (They then brought their hands above their heads to form a circle)

_A bright and sunny day, when_ (They brought their hands down and together and had them go back and forth)

_all the little fishies are a swimmin'_(they then lifted their arms and brought them back down in front of them in the shape of a circle)

_in the bay. With_(they patted where their pockets would be)

_their hands in their pocket and their pockets_(They patted the same spot again and then their pants)

_in their pants. And_ (they did the fishie motion again)

_all the little fishies doin'_(they did a small dance with their arms)

_the hoochie coochie dance_(They began dancing around and hooking each others arms and spinning)

_Da-dut da-dut-dut da-dut da-dut-dutda-dut da dut-dut_

_With their hands in their pockets and their pockets in their pants_

_and all the little fishies doin' the hoochie coochie dance_

DB stood tall again. "Alright, now you all know how it goes, so, let's do it."

_Haaaaave yoooouuu ever gone a fishin'_

_on a bright and sunny day?_

_When all the little fishies are a swimmin' in the bay._

_With their hands in their pockets and their pockets in their pants._

_And all the little fishies doin' the hoochie coochie dance._

_Da-dut da-dut-dut Da-dut da-dut-dut Da-dut da-dut-dut_

_With their hands in their pockets and their pockets in their pants_

_And all the little fishies doin' the hoochie coochie dance._

DB, Wayward Son, and Wan all said, "FASTER!" They then did it faster, motions and lyrics. After that, they yelled out, "LUDACROUS SPEED!" They then vaguely made it sound like they were singing and did the motions as fast as they could. Then, everyone let out a, "HEY!" And they left with a, "GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!"

"GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!"

Shifu sighed. "At least it wasn't the most annoying song I've ever heard."

Po asked, "What is the most annoying song you've ever heard?" Shifu just glanced at Po before leaving.

**The next morning**

After the gong and good morning's, it was realized DB was missing, but Joy was in his place. "Where is DB?"

Joy took a deep breath and said, "He' 'tenoughtimeforhimtogetitreadywithoutyouguysfindin gitsothat'swhyhe'sdoingittodayandhavingmebeinhispl aceforthemorningroutinebutthatreallydoesn'tmakesen sesinceIdon'tlooktoomuchlikehim,butLogicandIntelle ctdo,soheshouldhaveusedthemanditwouldhavetakenlong erforyouguystofindouttheswitcharooandthentheywould n'tofhadtogiveasuperduperlongexplanationlikeIdid." 

They all blinked in response, since they missed most of it." Mind repeating that?" Po would regret that.

"SURE! I said," Joy took another deep breath and said, "He' 'tenoughtimeforhimtogetitreadywithoutyouguysfindin gitsothat'swhyhe'sdoingittodayandhavingmebeinhispl aceforthemorningroutinebutthatreallydoesn'tmakesen sesinceIdon'tlooktoomuchlikehim,butLogicandIntelle ctdo,soheshouldhaveusedthemanditwouldhavetakenlong erforyouguystofindouttheswitcharooandthentheywould n'tofhadtogiveasuperduperlongexplanationlikeIdid." He ended with a smile.

"Let me rephrase that. Mind repeating that slower?"

"Sure!" Joy took in another deep breath, but took it in slower. Much slower. He also began much slower. "Hhhhheeeeee'sssssss... ggggggeeeeeeettttttttiiiiiiiinnnnnnnggggggggg... tttttttthhhhhhhheeeeeeeeee... nnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeexxxxxxxxttttttt... eeeeeevvvvvvveeeeeeennnnnnnttttttttt... ssssssssseeeeeeeeeettttttttt... uuuuuuupppppppp.-"

He was cut off by Shifu. "What is the next event?"

Joy smiled wider. "You'll find out!" He giggled and skipped out.

Mantis blinked and said, "Am I the only one that finds someone that looks like DB skipping strange?" He got glares. "Who's ready for breakfast. I sure am."

**Courtyard, after breakfast**

Since they knew DB was going to most likely have the next event here, they came here and wished they didn't. Set up were two tall poles with a wire strung between them and hanging in the middle was a barrel. There were also two fire hoses set up coming out of two portals. The ninjas were standing around and DB came out of the crowd and shouted out, "GOOOD MORNING!"

"**GOOOOOOD MOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRNNNNIIIIINNNNG!"** The reply was so loud that the warriors had to cover their ears, but DB acted like it was nothing.

"Alright. This is the water barrel!" The ninjas started cheering for a little bit. "Now, normally this is done on Wednesday evening, but due to unforeseen circumstances, we moved it to Thursday morning. Now, the rules are simple. You have your teams of six. Now, each team will pick up a hose and shoot water at the barrel on the wire and try to push it to the other end. So, it's kind of like tug-of-war, except a whole lot wetter and your pushing something. Now, let's get started!" Another ninja came forward and started getting the game going. DB went through a portal and appeared behind the other warriors. "Hi." They all turned to him. "You wanna join in?"

"No." Shifu replied before anyone had a chance. "You will stop this right away and take down the entire contraption! Then, you will clean the entire Jade Palace, top to bottom, including the steps, using nothing but your toothbrush!"

DB just smirked. "You don't want to try to stop this. The ninjas really wanted to try this out. If you don't let them, you will become the barrel. Even if I tell them not to. I try telling them not to, they'll use me as the barrel as well." Shifu then grinned an evil grin. "Oh no."

**Five minutes later**

DB was tied up in rope and hanging from the wire. A gong sounded and the water hit him. He winced, but made sure not to scream in pain.

**That afternoon, Peach Tree of Heveanly Wisdom**

DB was sitting, again looking at the list. He winced when he moved. Wan came up and sat behind him. "I don't think that went too well."

DB slowly shook his head. And winced. "No. I'm not gonna do that here again."

"That would probably be a good idea. What about the next visit from the unknowns?"

DB smirked. "Well, I'm not sure when they'll be visiting again. No one knows who they are."

Wan just chuckled. "Of course they don't." She then kissed him on the cheek. "I'm going to go get some supper. You want me to bring you some?"

"Yes please."

**Kitchen**

Wan walked in and got two bowls and filled them with noodles. When she turned around, she seen two coyotes with sunglasses and hats sword fighting with broom sticks on top of the table. She chuckled at the sight. She set the bowls down and watched it with folded arms. It ended with the one in a cowboy hat knocking the other onto his back and "stabbing" him in the chest. They then left through a portal. Wan chuckled and picked up the bowls again. But, Shifu stopped her. "Wan."

"Yes?" She turned towards him.

"Did you find out why DB is doing this stuff?"

"what stuff?"

"The swordfighting. The random sweeping. Those things?"

"That isn't him. That's the unknown's. He is still to stiff from being blasted by the water while being tied up by rope hung up on a wire. Even though I had to hurt him, I was still glad to win."

Shifu sighed. "okay. What about everything else?"

"He made me promise not to tell."

"Why are you joining him, though?"

"Pterodactyls don't have to explain themselves, ke-kaw!" She then ran off, but didn't flap her arms because of the soup.

**Peach tree of Heveanly Wisdom**

Wan came up and noticed DB was talking with Logic. When she got closer, she heard DB say, "I can't believe you actually did that." He then smacked him. "You aren't supposed to let anyone know you're one of the unknowns."

Logic glared at him. "I was just doing it because you couldn't."

"I'm not an unknown."

Logic was about to answer, but Wan stopped him. "Why would you try making that kind of lie, Logic? I thought you were very logical."

Logic deadpanned. "You are really going to believe him when we are the same person?"

"that's why I was wondering why you'd make up that lie."

Logic sighed. "I'm outta here." He then flashed out.

Wan handed DB his bowl. He took out a blow dart tube and started drinking throught it. "Thank you."

"No problem." The two watched the sunset as they ate. "what's gonna happen tomorrow?"

"Just singing songs. And saying something new."

"No more, 'God save the Queen'."

"Nope. Also, we are wearing kilts." DB smirked. "Kilts are really comfortable."

Wan tilted her head. "What are kilts?"

DB chuckled. "You'll find out. We'll be getting you a hat to go with it."

"Alright."

**Next morning**

The gong rang, and DB's door was the only one that didn't open right away. Soon it opened and he stepped out with a full Scotish outfit. Kilt, sporran, hat, shirt, bagpipes. Everything. He then shouted out, "DOWN WITH THE CROWN!"

Ninjas popped out of nowhere and replied, "DOWN WITH THE CROWN!"

After they all left, one stayed. He said, "God save the queen." He then quickly left.

DB then spoke in a really good Scottish accent. "That bloat is gonna be killed with the crown he's loyal to. Now. Let us get some food for the coming battle." He then began walking. The others were pretty much used to the randomness, so just went with it.

**kitchen**

They were all sititng. Monkey and Mantis were whispering and chuckling. Monkey finally said something to DB. "H-hey, D-DB?"

DB still spoke in his accent. "What do ya twits want?"

"Whay are you wearing a skirt?" Monkey and Mantis burst out laughing.

It was soon cut short by his glare. "Ya think this be a skirt? A skirt is worn by lassies. This be kilt. Worn for war. We Scotsmen wear it and it intimidates even the strongest of enemies. We will even be wearing them during the fight against our cruel British oppresors."

"Sooo, people are intimidated by men in skirts?"

DB smirked. "Ya twits were. Though, it is a kilt. Not a skirt." They tried to form a response, but couldn't. DB then stood up and the ninjas joined him. He cleared his throat and began another song. (A/N: Okay, this a fairly slow song.)

_Waaay up in the sky,_

_the big birdies fly._

_While down in the nest,_

_the little birds rest._

_With a wing on the left._

_And a wing on the right._

_the little birds sleep_

_all through the night._

_Sssshhhh._

_They're Sleep-ing_(A/N: This is actually as high as you can go. Middle part is the highest part of it.)

_Theee bright sun comes up._

_The dew goes away._

_"Good morning, Good morning."_

_The little birds say._

_I roll out of bed._

_Feeling quite dead._

_I open my window and_

_**SMASH THAT BIRD'S HEAD!**_

"Hey!" Crane was the widest-eyed. The ninjas left. DB looked around. They all had wide eyes and gaping mouths. "Did you enjoy 'The Birdie Song'?" Simultaneous slow head shaking. "Didn't like the smashing of the bird's head?" Same thing. "Awww. That is one of my favorite parts of my favorite song."

Viper found her voice. "How could you think that?" She slowly wrapped herself around Crane.

DB shrugged. "It's just a funny song. I like it just because it is to be funny." A beeping sound started. "Gotta go." He then left through a portal.

Two Wu sisters ran in. Su asked, "Have you seen Wan?"

"No. Why?"

"She was gigling like a little school girl while wearing a plaid skirt and plaid hat."

Joy came in and shouted, "IT IS A KILT!" He then dissappeared. He then reappeared and said, "Please come out to the courtyard." They all shrugged and headed that way.

**Courtyard**

They were all standing where Shifu and Oogway did during the Dragon Warrior Tournament. Soon, they began hearing bagpipes. Then, DB, the ninjas, and Wan all entered wearing matching kilts and some of them were playing the bagpipes. DB had the most complete outfit. Some were missing the Scottish shirt. Others missing the Sporran. Others, the hat. Some, they only had the kilt. When they all got in and the music stopped. DB took off his bagpipes and handed them to Wan. He then pulled out a Scottish longsword and a wooden horse. It was then they realised he had some blue facepaint on. He then began speaking loudly with his Scottish accent. "Aye, fight and you may die. Run, and you'll live... at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin' to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take... OUR FREEDOM!" All the ninjas started cheering and saying, "Freedom" and DB just smiled. He then said, "Alba gu bràth!" The ninjas said it back. He then went back to the line and put away his sword and horse. (A/N: You don't know how long it took me to find that speech. I almost gave up on it.) DB then took his bagpipes from Wan and the group walked out the way they came in.

Monkey then said, "That. Kind of made me want to wear a kilt. And I feel embaressed for making fun of DB for it."

"I agree, dude."

"That was pretty awesome."

Zeng then flew in. "Shifu! Bandits are in the valley!" The group ran off before Shifu even spoke.

**Valley**

The warriors all stopped at the group of bandits. "You guys got lucky the first time. We won't be so easy this time."

They then heard a Scottish accent. "Oi!" They all turned to him. "We Scottish don't like ye brutes tearin' up this town. I think it be about time we taught ye a lesson. Ain't that right, fellow Scotsmen?" Out of the alleyways, the ninjas came out in their outfits. As did Wan.

The bandits began laughing. "You expect us to be afraid of a few girly men dressed in skirts?"

Monkey smirked and said, "Actually, they're kilts."

"Aye. He be right there. Scotsmen." DB drew his longsword. "Let's show these British just how wrong they are to laugh at our kilts." The others all drew longswords or bows.

"Alright. Let's show these girls that this is no place for skirts."

"Ye be right about one thing. This be no place for kilts." He then quickly took his kilt off and threw it into the face of the two Wu sisters. (A/N: No. He is not naked. He does have something on.) "Now, attack!" And it was a battle for freedom. Well, it was at least close enough for what the Scottish went through. DB put his kilt back on after the fight. "Thank ye for holding onto me kilt."

Su said, "My pleasure. Just be careful where you throw it next time."

"Will do, lassie."

"Hey, DB?" DB turned to Monkey and Mantis. "Mind getting us those kilts?"

"Not so girly anymore, eh?" Monkey and Mantis shook their heads. "Alrighty. Suit 'em up." At that, two blinds covered them and ninjas jumped in and you could see Monkey and Mantis struggling and screaming something about them being careful. After the blinds were removed, they were both wearing kilts.

"Huh. These are very comfortable. I might wear it everyday."

"Aye. They be very comfortable. And breezy. But, we can only wear them on Fridays for now. After we be done, ye can wear 'em whenever ye want."

"Shouldn't we get back to the Jade Palace?"

"The lad be right. Onward to the Palace of Jade." DB marched forward, stopped, grabbed his bagpipes and climbed the steps. The others followed behind, smiling at this moment.

**Supper time**

Everyone was sitting around the table, eating and laughing. DB then got up and cleared his throat. Monkey whispered to Mantis, "Oh boy. Another stupid song." DB shot a quick glare their direction.

DB then said, "I got a repeat after me song for ya!"

The ninjas popped in and said, "I got a repeat after me song for ya!"

(A/N: I don't remember this one's name, but I do remember all the words. Anyways, when I have every other line is supposed to be fast. Also, because I'm feeling lazy, I'm not gonna write in the repeated parts or that the ninjas repeated. It is implied after every line.)

_There's a hooole, there's a hole._

_There's a hole in the bottom of the sea._

_There's a looog, there's a log._

_There's a log in the hole, hole in the bottom of the sea._

_There's a knooot, there's a knot._

_There's a knot on the log, log in the hole, hole in the bottom of the sea._

_There's a frooog, there's a frog._

_There's a frog on the knot, knot on the log, log in the hole, hole in the bottom of the sea._

_There's a waaart, there's a wart._

_There's a wart on the frog, frog on the knot, knot on the log, log in the hole, hole in the bottom of the sea._

_There's a haaaiiir, there's a hair._

_There's a hair on the wart, wart on the frog, frog on the knot, knot on the log, log in the hole, hole in the bottom of the sea._

_There's a flyyyy, there's a fly._

_There's a fly on the hair, hair on the wart, wart on the frog, frog on the knot, knot on the log, log in the hole, hole in the bottom of the sea._

_There's a wiiing, there's a wing._

_There's a wing on the fly, fly on the hair, hair on the wart, wart on the frog, frog on the knot, knot on the log, log in the hole, hole in the bottom of the sea!_

"Heeeyyy!"

The ninjas, including DB left. Shifu sighed. "We need to get DB to stop this nonsense."

"How will we do that?" Everyone turned to the voice, which was DB. He was smiling like an idiot. "I mean, we try cornering him, he'll be able to either make a portal out of there or fight his way past us. Wan is a part of the whole thing, so she wouldn't help. So, how will we do it?"

"Really?" Matthew just shook his head.

"Yes, really. It is all true." Matthew face-palmed. "I'm just being honest with you."

Viper cleared her throat. "DB. I..don't think that's what he was saying 'really' about."

DB just grinned. "I know." He then threw down a smoke bomb and he was gone.

Shifu sighed. "Just go to bed."

**Next morning**

The gong rang, usual thing. But, when everyone was expecting DB to do something really weird, he just walked in with a big tray of cinnamon rolls, fruit, and orange juice. "Who's ready for breakfast?"

They were shocked it was only slightly abnormal. Shifu was the first to respond. "Wouldn't it be better to eat it in the kitchen?"

"The ninjas are cleaning the kitchen. And the training hall. And the showers. And the sacred hall of warriors. And the courtyard. Basically everywhere except your rooms. I would help, but I had to deliver these to you guys."

"Very well. We shall eat here, but you must clean up everything."

"Planned on it."

**30 minutes later**

Everyone was finished. Except DB, who had waited for everyone else before eating. "Those were very good. We will go and train. You may join us once you've finished eating and cleaned everything." DB nodded. Shifu and the warriors left. Once they were out of ear-shot, Shifu stopped them. "He must have something big planned, since he is having the ninjas cleaning and he is willingly cleaning the barracks. So, be ready." The students nodded as they left.

**that afternoon, courtyard**

The warriors had been told to come here because of a presentation. They were sitting on the ledge, when DB and the ninjas finally came in. DB smiled and nodded to the ninjas. He stepped forward to begin the song. (A/N: This isn't a camp song. It is just a song I heard during Summer camp and I really liked it. It is called the Boy Scout Rap. Look it up on youtube. Also, the ninjas are dancing to it and join in singing.)

_I'm gonna do my best_

_To do my duty._

_Grab my compass out the tent,_

_Oh this place is a beauty_

_Before I leave brush my teeth_

_with the Cub Scout Joe_

_And tell him if we see a bear_

_just don't be too slow_

_I'm talkin' runnin' on our toes (toes)_

_trees rippin' off our clothes clothes (clothes)_

_No reception on our cell phones_

_Tree climbin', allergies make us sneezy_

_The scout life ain't too easy_

_And this mountains getting freezing_

_and this mountains getting freezing_

_Boy Scout, caught a trout,_

_now he's an eagle scout_

_More wood, we look good,_

_Now do the Robin Hood_

_Kill that bear, but beware,_

_you're not allowed to swear_

_Woah, oh, oh, oh_

_Woah, oh, oh, oh_

_Boy Scout, caught a trout,_

_Now he's an eagle Scout_

_More wood, we look good,_

_Now do the Robin Hood._

_Skin that bear, keep the hair_

_Eat the meat it's very rare_

_Woah, oh, oh, oh_

_Woah, oh, oh, oh_

_Ain't got a fear in the world_

_But got plenty of flares_

_Ain't got no matches in my pocket,_

_but the fire appears_

_And now the girl scouts linin' up_

_cause they say we got swagger_

_But we give them pocket knives _

_cause they can't handle our daggers_

_I'm saying climbing all the trunks (trunks)_

_Runnin' away from the skunks (skunks)_

_Chasin' off those punks (punks)_

_Until the campground kicks us out (out)_

_Or PETA shuts us down (down)_

_PETA shuts us down (down)_

_PETA shuts us doooooown_

_Boy Scout, caught a trout_

_now he's an eagle scout_

_More wood, we look good_

_Now do the Robin Hood_

_Kill that bear, but beware,_

_You're not allowed to swear_

_Woah, oh,oh,oh_

_Woah, oh, oh, oh_

_Boy Scout, caught a trout_

_now he's an eagle scout_

_More wood, we look good,_

_Now do the Robin Hood._

_Skin that bear, keep the hair_

_Eat the meat, it's very rare_

_Woah, oh, oh, oh_

_Woah, oh, oh, oh_

_We'll pitch our tents then break them down_

_The merit badge I'll earn it._

_We roast our smores do lots of chores_

_And wipe with leaves, not paper_

_Say the scouts' oath and live the law_

_We're good ole boys, you know it_

_With our signs up, throw your signs up_

_Throw your signs up_

_But the fun don't start till we raise that flag_

_Boy Scout, caught a trout,_

_now he's an eagle scout_

_More wood, we look good_

_Now do the robin Hood_

_Kill that bear, but beware_

_You're not allowed to swear_

_Woah, oh, oh, oh_

_Woah, oh, oh, oh_

_Boy Scout, caught a trout, _

_now he's an eagle scout_

_More wood, we look good,_

_now do the Robin Hood_

_Skin that bear, keep the hair_

_Eat the meat, it's very rare_

_Woah, oh, oh, oh_

_Woah, oh, oh, oh_

DB and the ninjas bowed before vanishing in a cloud of smoke. "Well. That was one of the less annoying songs."

"Glad you liked it, Shifu." Everyone turned to see DB right behind them.

"So. Are you done with all the craziness?"

DB grinned. "Not even close. Craziness starts again tomorrow afternoon. All because we are going to a river for canoeing."

"Not if I say no."

DB just looked down at Shifu and replied, in a confident tone, "Shifu. You cannot stop me from doing anything. And, yes. I know you will be punishing me when I'm completely done, but I will still do as I please. We are gonna go on a canoe trip tomorrow afternoon. Good day to you." DB then walked off.

"Do any of you want to go?" Shifu turned to the students.

Matthew shrugged. "As long as it isn't anything too crazy, I'm game for it."

Monkey said, "Well, it could be a good time for pranks."

"Oh ya!" Mantis cheered from Monkey's shoulder.

Tigress simply said, "We could use it as a chance to find out why he's doing all of this."

Shifu smiled. "Good idea. We will go."

Up on the top of the Jade Palace, nobody noticed DB listening in above them. He chuckled. "They'll never learn." He then turned to the audience. "Cue scene change."

**The next morning**

They all awoke to the gong, had breakfast, trained and had lunch without any strangness. Now, they were at the river ready to canoe. There, pnly a sightly strange scene awaited them. DB was in a swamped canoe and the ninjas were rolling it. They finally stopped and DB sat while laughing and wiping water from his eyes. "Don't try that at home. It's fun, but dangerous."

Matthew then asked, "Then why did you do it?"

"Because I have done it enough times to be able to do it safely."

"But, you had to do it at least once when you didn't know."

"With someone that had done it before. Now, get in your canoes in groups of three."

They didn't ask as they got in their canoes. Mantis then noticed something. "Why are there only two paddles and a bucket?"

DB grinned. "Oh. I forgot. We are also going to be playing a game of battleship." They didn't get time to react as they were pushed out. DB floated out into the group. "Basically, you have to try sinking the other boats by throwing water into them using the bucket. Also, you cannot empty any water out of your canoe. You do, you'll get sunk by us that are in the water." DB then motioned to the other swimmers. "Also, no sit and waiting. You'll get sunk that way as well. Also, no grabbing a hold of another canoe to sink them. If you jump out of your canoe, you cannot get back in without one of us sinking you. So, ya. Enjoy." Ninjas began canoeing out from the other shore. Shifu wasn't in a canoe, as there were only three canoes. The teams were Tigress, Po, and Mantis, Viper, Crane, and Monkey and Su, Wing, and Matthew. Wan was with one of the ninja teams. "BEGIN!" The ninjas started throwing buckets of water.

Mantis ducked under some thrown water. "Why did we have to get the biggest guy!?"

DB swam up behind their canoes and grabbed on with his arms and legs and said, "Well, you also have the canoe that is the hardest to sink. So, it balances each other out." He then sunk under water just in time for some water to splash into their canoe. He then swam under the canoe that had Wan in it and lifted up the back end a little. He then dropped it and came to the side. "Hello." He then pushed down on one side.

"DB! Don't you dare!" Wan looked at him with a serious expression on her face.

"But, it would be so much fun." He leaned down more with the occupants leaning farther away, keeping it from flipping. "It would also be fun to do this." He then pushed off, and since they were leaning as far as they could, they flipped. DB began laughin until Wan pulled him under.

Tigress threw water into the face of a ninja. She then grabbed the canoe and flipped it, only for hers to be flipped. She surfaced to see the face of Wayward Son. "You cheated." He then went under. She didn't follow. She just swam to shore as Po swam the canoe to shore.

Shifu was chuckling at the sight. "This was not what I thought it would be. It is much more enjoyable for me." Tigress glared at him.

Monkey, Viper, and Crane worked really well together. Viper had coiled around Crane's body and held onto the bucket with her tail. She would lower the bucket into the water, then swing around, flinging the water quite a distance. She would occasionally pass it to Monkey, who sat on his tail while his feet paddled and threw water with his hands. They had sunk two canoes already. They were then surprised when they recieved a splash from the water. They turned just in time to see a platypus to go under. "I wonder what that was for."

"Just for fun." They turned to the other side to get splashed by Informant. "Also. Beware of the rowboat." He swam away.

Crane noticed the rowboat come onto the river from the side the ninjas all entered on. "I see the rowboat. And someone is standing in it with a bucket."

"That isn't going to be easy to sink."

Matthew was quickly throwing the water and filling the bucket again as the Wu sisters kept paddling. "Why are we even doing this?"

"It's fun. Also, DB may be more willing to talk if we do this."

They were then surprised by a splash from a ninja boat. Matthew then threw water at them and the boat flipped. Matthew smirked before beginning with the water onslaught again. He did notice many boats had been takne on shore. He noticed someone surfacing. They tried grabbing on to flip them, but Matthew pushed them off. "Those ninjas are annoying." They were then flipped by someone on the other side. "See?"

**ten minutes later**

All the canoes had flipped. Crane, Viper, and Monkey had won. They lost to the rowboat. The people in it said it is because staff always win. Shifu had also been thrown in after chuckling at his students. "Well. That was fun. DB, do you mind explaining what this was about?" Shifu looked around after recieving no answer. "DB?" Everyone was now looking around. "Anyone see DB?"

"Wait!" Everyone now turned to Su. "Where's Wan?"

Their answer came when the two popped out of the water, gasping for air. Informant blinked. "How long have you two been down there?"

DB simply replied, "Pterodctyls don't have to answer questions, ke-kaw!" He then swam under.

Wan chuckled. "We weren't down there the entire time. We swam away from all the splashing before surfacing. We swam back just before it ended."

"So, where is he going?" Wan shrugged.

"Well, let's head back to the Jade Palace."

**The next morning**

They had breakfast out in the courtyard because the ninjas had joined them. The warriors knew it had something to do with DB's craziness. Their suspiscions were proven true when he came out and shouted, "GOOOD MOOORRRNING!"

The warriors covered their ears as the ninjas shouted back, "GGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD MMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG!" 

"Now. We are going to be singing an audience participation song, so stand up." Everyone stood up and a few joined him. "Now, I am going to divide you all into six different instruments. Now, you guys," He ran towards one end of the courtyard and pointed to everyone on one end as he continued, "You will all be the piccolos. Now, this is what you're going to do. _Picca-picca-piccolo, piccolo. Picca-picca-piccolo, piccolo. picca-picca-piccolo, picca-piccolo, HEY!_" He then turned. "Now you guys," He went a little ways with his arms out and turned around. "Now, you will be the tubas. You will go, _oompa, oompa, oompa-pa, oompa-pa. Oompa, oompa, oompa-pa, oompa-pa. Oompa, oompa, oompa-pa, oompa, oompa-pa, HEY!"_ He then went to the next group. "You are the violas."

Before he could say how they went, they all said, "We know what to do."

DB was taken aback. He blinked a few times. "Alright then. Next group are the drums. Do you know what you do?"

"We know the beat."

"Well, you just say drum while hitting the table. Next is the guitars. Basically, you just say strum to the beat. Finally," The last group was the one the residence of the Jade Palace was in. "you guys are the bagpipes. Here is what you do." He plugged his nose and grabbed his throat, pulling each time he made a noise, "_eh-eh, eheheh,eheheh. Eh-eh, eheheh,eheheh. Eh-eh, eheheh, eh, eheheh, HEY!_ Everbody got it? Good." DB then began with a few others.

_I am the music father,_

_I come from father land._

_Everybody gathers JUST to hear the band._

DB then shouted, "EE GOT SPEELAH!"

"EE GOT SPEELAH!"

_On my piccolos!_

_On my piccolos!_

DB then joined them, while making it look like he was playing the piccilo.

_Picca-picca-piccolo, piccolo. Picca-picca-piccolo, piccolo. picca-picca-piccolo, picca-piccolo, HEY!_

_I am the music father,_

_I come from father land._

_Everbody gathers JUST to hear the band._

"EE GOT SPEELAH!"

"EE GOT SPEELAH!"

_On my tubas!_

_On my tubas!_

_oompa, oompa, oompa-pa, oompa-pa. Oompa, oompa, oompa-pa, oompa-pa. Oompa, oompa, oompa-pa, oompa, oompa-pa, HEY!_

_Picca-picca-piccolo, piccolo. Picca-picca-piccolo, piccolo. picca-picca-piccolo, picca-piccolo, HEY!_

_I am the music father,_

_I come from father land._

_Everybody gathers JUST to hear the band._

"EE GOT SPEELAH!"

"EE GOT SPEELAH"

_On my drums!_

_On my drums!_

They all began hitting the table, while doing their part.

_drum, drum, drumdrumdrum, drumdrumdrum. Drum, drum, drumdrumdrum, drumdrumdrum. Drum, drum, drumdrumdrum, drum, drumdrumdrum, HEY!_

_oompa, oompa, oompa-pa, oompa-pa. Oompa, oompa, oompa-pa, oompa-pa. Oompa, oompa, oompa-pa, oompa, oompa-pa, HEY!_

_Picca-picca-piccolo, piccolo. Picca-picca-piccolo, piccolo. picca-picca-piccolo, picca-piccolo, HEY!_

_I am the music father,_

_I come from father land._

_Everbody gathers JUST to hear the band._

"EE GOT SPEELAH!"

"EE GOT SPEELAH!"

_On my guitars!_

_On my guitars!_

_strum, strum, strumstrumstrum, strumstrumstrum. Strum, strum, strumstrumstrum, strumstrumstrum. Strum, strum, strumstrumstrum, strum, strumstrumstrum, HEY!_

_drum, drum, drumdrumdrum, drumdrumdrum. Drum, drum, drumdrumdrum, drumdrumdrum. Drum, drum, drumdrumdrum, drum, drumdrumdrum, HEY!_

_oompa, oompa, oompa-pa, oompa-pa. Oompa, oompa, oompa-pa, oompa-pa. Oompa, oompa, oompa-pa, oompa, oompa-pa, HEY!_

_Picca-picca-piccolo, piccolo. Picca-picca-piccolo, piccolo. picca-picca-piccolo, picca-piccolo, HEY!_

_I am the music father,_

_I come from father land._

_Everybody gather JUST to hear the band._

"EE GOT SPEELAH!"

"EE GOT SPEELAH"

_"On my bagpipes!"_

_"On my bagpipes!"_

The heroes didn't join in.

_eh-eh, eheheh,eheheh. Eh-eh, eheheh,eheheh. Eh-eh, eheheh, eh, eheheh, HEY_

_strum, strum, strumstrumstrum, strumstrumstrum. Strum, strum, strumstrumstrum, strumstrumstrum. Strum, strum, strumstrumstrum, strum, strumstrumstrum, HEY!_

_drum, drum, drumdrumdrum, drumdrumdrum. Drum, drum, drumdrumdrum, drumdrumdrum. Drum, drum, drumdrumdrum, drum, drumdrumdrum, HEY!_

_oompa, oompa, oompa-pa, oompa-pa. Oompa, oompa, oompa-pa, oompa-pa. Oompa, oompa, oompa-pa, oompa, oompa-pa, HEY!_

_Picca-picca-piccolo, piccolo. Picca-picca-piccolo, piccolo. picca-picca-piccolo, picca-piccolo, HEY!_

_I am the music father,_

_I come from father land._

_Everbody gathers JUST to hear the band._

"EE GOT SPEELAH!"

"EE GOT SPEELAH!"

_All together now!_

_All together now!_

They all did their parts at once and it ended with one huge, "HEY!" Everyone began cleaning up after that. Though, cleanup didn't go without a visit from the unknowns. They were wearing goggles and flippers and they put two buckets down and laid on them, pretneding to be swimming. Our heroes just ignored them, since they weren't doing anything too weird.

**the next morning**

At the morning gong, they were once again met with foam. "FIRE EXTINGUISHER TUESDAY!" DB then dove into the foam. The unknowns cleaned up the mess, again.

Zeng came in after the mess was cleaned up, yelling, "Bandits are in the valley!"

**Down in the valley**

The residence arrived, only to see DB fighting using the fire extinguishers. He hit one of the bandits so hard, it dented the fire extinguisher. DB blasted one of them with the foam, making them back off, both from pain and cold. DB began swinging two by their hoses. The bandits charged, only to be beaten with the impromptu clubs. They eventually retreated. DB chuckled slightly. "Fire extinguishers. Good for putting out flames and for putting down bandit attacks."

Wan walked up to him and kissed him on the cheek. "We should use them as usual weapons."

DB chuckled again. "I actually did for about a month in my dimension. It confused people for a while when I went running into battlefield with fire extinguishers. It also made a few enemies laugh when they seen what I was using as my weapon. Until I broke their jaw, that is."

Wan smiled underneath her mask. "Multi-purpose weapon."

"Best kind their is. Well, we have another song to get ready." The two left by going along the rooftops. The others just walked back up the steps.

**That afternoon**

The group had finished their lunch and walked into the trainign room, only to be met by a line of ninjas, DB, and Wan with their back facing them. They then began singing. (A/N: When it has the things without hitting enter, they are said at the same time. They also do motions along with their parts.)

_If I weren't a boyscout,_

_there's something I would be._

_If I weren't a boyscout,_

The one all the way to the left turned around.

_A fireman I would be!_

_Catch a baby, catch a baby, catch a baby, splat._

_Catch a baby, catch a baby, catch a baby, splat._

He then went back to his spot.

_If I weren't a boyscout,_

_there's something I would be._

_If I weren't a boyscout,_

The second ninja in line turned around.

_An EMT I would be!_

_Mouth to mouth resuscitate, what a way to win a date._

_Mouth to mouth resuscitate, what a way to win a date._

The first one then turnes around and joined him.

_Mouth to mouth resuscitate, what a way to win a date; Catch a baby, catch a baby, catch a baby, splat._

_Mouth to mouth resuscitate, what a way to win a date; Catch a baby, catch a baby, catch a baby, splat._

They returned.

_If I weren't a boy scout,_

_there's something I would be._

_If I weren't a boyscout,_

_A cook I would be!_

_Scoop it, dump it, take out the good stuff._

_Scoop it, dump it, take out the good stuff._

_Scoop it, dump it, take out the good stuff; mouth to mouth resuscitate, what a way to win a date._

_Scoop it dump it, take out the good stuff; mouth to mouth resuscitate, what a way to win a date._

_Scoop it, dump it, take out the good stuff; mouth to mouth resuscitate, what a way to win a date; catch a baby, catch a baby, catch a baby, splat._

_Scoop it dump it, take out the good stuff; mouth to mouth resuscitate, what a way to win a date; cathc a baby, catch a baby, cathc a baby, splat._

_If I weren't a boy scout,_

_there's something I would be._

_If I weren't a boyscout,_

_A garbage man I would be!_

_Scoop it, dump it, take out the good stuff._

_Scoop it, dump it, take out the good stuff._

_Scoop it, dump it, take out the good stuff._

_Scoop it, dump it, take out the good stuff._

_Scoop it, dump it, take out the good stuff; mouth to mouth resuscitate, what a way to win a date._

_Scoop it dump it, take out the good stuff; mouth to mouth resuscitate, what a way to win a date._

_Scoop it, dump it, take out the good stuff; mouth to mouth resuscitate, what a way to win a date; catch a baby, catch a baby, catch a baby, splat._

_Scoop it dump it, take out the good stuff; mouth to mouth resuscitate, what a way to win a date; cathc a baby, catch a baby, cathc a baby, splat._

_If I weren't a boyscout,_

_there's something I would be_

_If I weren't a boyscout,_

_A rock I would be!_

Wan took this one, and he just sat down. After a pause, they started again.

_Scoop it, dump it, take out the good stuff._

_Scoop it, dump it, take out the good stuff._

_Scoop it, dump it, take out the good stuff._

_Scoop it, dump it, take out the good stuff._

_Scoop it, dump it, take out the good stuff; mouth to mouth resuscitate, what a way to win a date._

_Scoop it dump it, take out the good stuff; mouth to mouth resuscitate, what a way to win a date._

_Scoop it, dump it, take out the good stuff; mouth to mouth resuscitate, what a way to win a date; catch a baby, catch a baby, catch a baby, splat._

_Scoop it dump it, take out the good stuff; mouth to mouth resuscitate, what a way to win a date; cathc a baby, catch a baby, cathc a baby, splat._

Everyone except Wan went to their spots.

_If I weren't a boyscout,_

_there's something I would be._

_If I weren't a boyscout,_

_A Darth Vader I would be!_

_I'm your father, force choke, come join the dark side._

_I'm your father, force choke, come join the dark side_

_I'm your father, force choke, come join the dark side._

_I'm your father, force choke, come join the dark side._

_I'm your father, force choke, come join the dark side; Scoop it, dump it, take out the good stuff._

_I'm your father, force choke, come join the dark side; Scoop it, dump it, take out the good stuff._

_I'm your father, force choke, come join the dark side; Scoop it, dump it, take out the good stuff._

_I'm your father, force choke, come join the dark side; Scoop it, dump it, take out the good stuff._

_I'm your father, force choke, come join the dark side; scoop it, dump it, take out the good stuff; mouth to mouth resuscitate, what a way to win a date._

_I'm your father, force choke, come join the dark side; scoop it dump it, take out the good stuff; mouth to mouth resuscitate, what a way to win a date._

_I'm your father, force choke, come join the dark side; scoop it, dump it, take out the good stuff; mouth to mouth resuscitate, what a way to win a date; catch a baby, catch a baby, catch a baby, splat._

_I'm your father, force choke, come join the dark side; scoop it dump it, take out the good stuff; mouth to mouth resuscitate, what a way to win a date; cathc a baby, catch a baby, cathc a baby, splat._

_If I weren't a boyscout,_

_there's something I would be._

_If I weren't a boyscout,_ (DB takes this one)

_A girlscout I would be._

_Ding dong, hey, __**BUY MY COOKIES!**_

_Ding dong, hey, __**BUY MY COOKIES!**_

_Ding dong, hey, __**BUY MY COOKIES!;**__ I'm your father, force choke, come join the dark side._

_Ding dong, hey, __**BUY MY COOKIES!;**__ I'm your father, force choke, come join the dark side_

_Ding dong, hey, __**BUY MY COOKIES!;**__ I'm your father, force choke, come join the dark side._

_Ding dong, hey, __**BUY MY COOKIES!;**__ I'm your father, force choke, come join the dark side._

_Ding dong, hey, __**BUY MY COOKIES!;**__ I'm your father, force choke, come join the dark side; Scoop it, dump it, take out the good stuff._

_Ding dong, hey, __**BUY MY COOKIES!**__ I'm your father, force choke, come join the dark side; Scoop it, dump it, take out the good stuff._

_Ding dong, hey, __**BUY MY COOKIES!;**__ I'm your father, force choke, come join the dark side; Scoop it, dump it, take out the good stuff._

_Ding dong, hey, __**BUY MY COOKIES!;**__ I'm your father, force choke, come join the dark side; Scoop it, dump it, take out the good stuff._

_Ding dong, hey, __**BUY MY COOKIES!;**__ I'm your father, force choke, come join the dark side; scoop it, dump it, take out the good stuff; mouth to mouth resuscitate, what a way to win a date._

_Ding dong, hey, __**BUY MY COOKIES!;**__ I'm your father, force choke, come join the dark side; scoop it dump it, take out the good stuff; mouth to mouth resuscitate, what a way to win a date._

_Ding dong, hey, __**BUY MY COOKIES!;**__ I'm your father, force choke, come join the dark side; scoop it, dump it, take out the good stuff; mouth to mouth resuscitate, what a way to win a date; catch a baby, catch a baby, catch a baby, splat._

_Ding dong, hey, __**BUY MY COOKIES!;**__ I'm your father, force choke, come join the dark side; scoop it dump it, take out the good stuff; mouth to mouth resuscitate, what a way to win a date; cathc a baby, catch a baby, cathc a baby, splat._

(A/N: There are A LOT more I could do, but I'm too lazy to type all of them.)

DB and Wan smiled as the ninjas left. "What did you think?"

Monkey and Mantis were forcing themselves from laughing. DB shot a glare, but that just made them burst out laughing. All they could make out between their laughs was, "He's...girl...funny!"

DB sighed. "Immature. What about the more mature people?"

Matthew come forward, put his hand on DB's shoulder, and said, "Well. I think I'm beginning to question your masculinity. First you wear a skirt. Now you're calling yourself a girl." This gained chuckled from everyone in the group. DB just huffed and crossed his arms.

Wan leaned on him and said, "Just ignore them. At least I know you're very masculine." Monkey and Mantis began laughing harder. "Shall we throw the gutter brains into the portal of a thousand pains?"

DB thought for a second. "Nah. That isn't a bad enough punishment. How about I spar with them, then we send them into the portal of a thousand pains." The two stopped laughing and ran off, fast. DB chuckled. "I never knew they could run that fast."

Wan also chuckled. "Well, it would of been a good punishment."

"I'll make sure to keep note of it." The group then continued the day as they normally would.

**The next day**

Today was a rainy day, so they were staying inside all day. It didn't help with DB saying, "God save the queen!" and "Hail Britania!" with the ninjas repeating it. The group was sitting lotus style in the training hall for meditation. DB then stood up. And walked to the entrance and turned around. Wan joined him, along with the other ninjas. Tigress sighed, knowing an annoying song would be coming. (A/N: This is called "Scout Wetspers" and is put to the tune of "Oh Christmas Tree") DB cleared his throat before beginning.

_Softly falls the rain today_

_As our campsite_(or campfire)_ floats away_

_Silently, each scout should ask,_

_"Did I bring my scuba mask?_

_Have I tied my tent flaps down?_

_Learned to swim so I won't drown?_

_Have I done and have I did_

_Everything to keep me dry?"_(or stay alive)

The ninjas then began humming it. They sung it again after they hummed through it. They went through the process four times before they were finished. Tigress actually found it easy to meditate under those circumstances. DB had sat back down. He then yelled out, "GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!"

"GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!"

Tigress snapped at that and lunged at DB, who ducked under it. Tigress growled at DB. The look on her face scared him. "Why are you doing all this!? It makes no sense and contributes nothing to kung fu!"

DB stood up slowly. He cleared his throat. His mouth had gone dry from fear and was desperately wishing for his saliva to be produced. "W-well. Pterodactyls don't have to explain themselves! Ke-kaw!" He then ran outta there like the place was on fire. Tigress was hot on his tail. With the look on his face, you may have thought there was a fire until you seen the angry tiger master chasing him. He ran down a hallway, jumped onto the wall at the end of it to change direction down the next one. Tigress slid to it and continued her chase. They ran past Shifu, who simply chuckled at the sight.

Wayward Son was in the kitchen when he seen DB run past. At first, he was confused. But, it made sense after Tigress came through shortly after. He just chuckled. "Looks like he took it a little too far."

Informant was in the Sacred Hall of Warriors, eating a bag of popcorn. He watched as DB ran past screaming, "SAVE ME!"

He blinked. Then, Tigress came by shouting, "GET BACK HERE!"

He then put a finger to his chin and said outloud to himself, "Now, a good friend would run after them and protect the one in danger. A smart friend would stay here and eat his popcorn while those two run and patch up the injured friend after it was all over. Or give his condolences if the friend in danger died." He then popped somepopcorn in his mouth and went to the other end and said, "Smart friend."

DB was running on pure adrenaline right now. He had to get away from Tigress, but she knew the palace better than he did, so losing her in the palace was out of the question. So, he headed outside. Tigress continued to chase him. He ran down the steps, not having to worry about any villagers being in his way because of the rain. DB slid on the wet pavement and turned down an intersection. Tigress almost slid all the way past it. DB then slid to go down an alleyway, which was a dead end. Or it would have been if he couldn't easily jump onto the rooves. He jumped onto the wall at the end, then jumed to the left and ended jumping onto the roof to the right. Tigress stopped at the end, then jumped onto the rooftops in one jump. She looked around, only to see he wasn't there. She ran, looking in the streets and alleyways, to see if he was hiding in any of them. She didn't realize after he had jumped onto the rooftops, he jumped down to the main street and went back into the alleyway they were just in. He breathed a sigh of relief. He climbed up to see where Tigress was. He spotted her. She was now headed back up to the Jade Palace. He knew he couldn't go back there. The Wu sisters fortress seemed like a good place, but the place was empty since they were still at the Jade Palace, for the time being. Gongmen city was another good option. Then there was also the Ladies of the Shade. But, he chose the option that was the farthest from the Angry Tiger as possible. He made a portal and stepped through it, into Matthew's home country. He was just stying for a couple days.

**Jade Palace**

Tigress ran into the training hall. Her bursting into the training hall surprised all of them. "Where is he?"

Wan replied, "He isn't here. We haven't seen him since you chased him off." The others nodded in agreement.

Shifu walked in and asked, "Is DB still alive?"

"I lost him down in the valley."

Wayward Son walked in as soon as she said that. "How did you lose him?"

"He ran down an alleyway, then jumped onto the rooftops. I went after him, but lost him."

Wayward Son simply smiled. "He did an old trick. It is usually used for attacking an enemy from behind. Anyways. He just jumped down after he had jumped on there and ran back down the alley way. He probably made a portal to somewhere to hide."

"Where do you think he went?"

"Wayward Son thought for a moment. "Well. He wouldn't go to the Wu Sister's fortress, since they aren't there. He might've gone to Gongmen City or the Ladies of the Shade. Those are the most likely options. So, I'd check whichever is farthest away."

Matthew asked, "Would he possibly try going to my home country?"

Wayward Son chuckled. "He might of." He stopped chuckling as realization hit him. "He might have. It is more than far enough away. So, it's very possible. Looks like we're going on a roadtrip."

**the next day**

DB was found and beaten to a terrible point by Tigress. He had an eye almost completely swollen shut, a split lip, his nose was broken, his right arm was bandaged all the way down, he had his mid-section wrapped, as well, his left knee was wrapped, both his feet needed wrappings, his tail had patches of fur missing, and he had lost feeling in his left arm. Wan gently stroked his back as the two sat in the Dragon Grotto. "Ya know, in hindisght, I probably should have gone here, instead, since no one would have looked for me here."

"Are you sure it is worth to continue on with this?"

DB chuckled, only to hold his side, since it hurt so much to laugh. He groaned a little. "Yes. I do believe it is."

"But, it is such an insignificant reason to put up with this much pain. It hurts me to see you in pain."

DB smiled at her affection. "It is almost done. We just have two more songs. Then we can stop and tell them the reason."

Wan sighed. "Alright. I can't stand to see you like this. But, if it's almost done, I'll continue with it."

**Kitchen**

DB and Wan were the only two not present for the meal. DB and Wan then came in, Wan supporting DB. The ninjas came in. DB then spoke. "Since i'm in too much pain, I'm not going to be leading the song. Wayward Son. Please lead us."

Wayward Son nodded. "Well, this is a repeat after me song."

"This is a repeat after me song." Wayward Son cleared his throat. (A/N: This is called "Way Down Yonder". Not sure how to describe its sound. Also. I will not be typing the repeated parts because I'm lazy and this is already incredibly long each line is repeated.)

_Way down yonder, not far away,_

_A blue jay died of a whoopin' cough._

_Well, he whooped and he whooped so hard,_

_He whooped his head an tail right off._

_Second verse._

_Same as the first._

_A little bit louder and a little bit worse_

_WAY DOWN YONDER, NOT FAR AWAY,_

_A BLUE JAY DIED OF A WHOOPIN' COUGH!_

_WELL, HE WHOOPED AND HE WHOOPED SO HARD,_

_HE WHOOPED HIS HEAD AND TAIL RIGHT OFF!_

_Third verse._

_Same as the first._

_Only a whole lot louder and a whole lot worse._

_**WAY DOWN YONDER, NOT FAR AWAY,**_

_**A BLUE JAY DIED OF A WHOOPIN' COUGH!**_

_**WELL, HE WHOOPED AND HE WHOOPED SO HARD,**_

_**HE WHOOPED HIS HEAD AN TAIL RIGHT OFF!**_

"Hey!"

Wayward Son then helped DB limp out of there. Just before he left, he shouted, "GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!"

"GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!"

DB simply said, "God save the queen. I can't yell it. Thanks Tigress."

"I don't think anyone else has a problem with it."

Wan turned and glared at her. Wing and Su stepped in her way. "Wan. Don't do anything stupid."

DB put his hand on Wan's shoulder and she turned to him. "Wan. It isn't worth it. Remember, 'Don't answer a fool according to their folly, lest you learn their ways.' Okay?" Wan nodded. Tigress's eyes widened in rage. She turned and glared at DB. "I thought I said that quieter than that."

The three Wu sisters and Wayward Son stood between Tigress and DB. Informant came up next to DB. "I'll help you back to your room while these three keep her away from you." As the two walked down the hall, Informant asked DB, "Why did you say that?"

"I thought I said it quiet enough that Tigress wouldn't hear."

"But still. Why'd you call her a fool!? That is practically saying, 'Hey, I have a death wish, which is why I'm poking the sleeping monster'. Are you nuts!?"

DB looked like he was thinking about it, bobbing his head back and forth. "The jury's still out on that. But, I was just quoting the Bible." (A/N: I'll talk more about that in the closing. Just for teaching purposes)

Informant sighed. "You couldn't of paraphrased it?"

"You mean like saying 'idiot' instead of 'fool'?"

Informant deadpanned. "No."

"But, it wouldn't have the same effect if it wasn't something like that. It could be completely misinterpretted if used with some other word." Informant only sighed again. "I'm so glad this is almost over."

**That Saturday**

That Friday had gone much like the last, only minus the bandit attack. The warriors had gathered outside once more, since DB had called them all out there. He stepped forward from the line of ninjas. He then nodded to them. They then began singing. (A/N: This is "Scout Vespers" Same tune as "Scout Wetspers".)

_Softly falls the light of day_

_As our campfire fades away._

_Silently, each scout should ask,_

_"Have I done my daily task?_

_Have I kept my honor bright?_

_Can I get to sleep tonight?_

_Have I done and have I did_

_everything to be prepared?_

They followed through with the same pattern, only this time, the ninjas walked through a portal, one lin at a time, until it was only DB, Wan, Wayward Son, and Informant. Wayward Son then shouted, "And thus, the craziness ends." The warriors all breathed a sigh of relief.

The group came down to those in the courtyard. "Well, DB, mind telling us why you were doing all that?"

DB smirked. "Are you sure you want to know?" They all nodded. DB turned to the other three. "Please get out of here in case they want to attack me." The others quickly oblidged. He turned back to the group. "It's because we were bored and this was a great way to have fun while annoying all of you."

Shifu's ear twitched. "Everyone. You will now be facing DB as a spar." He snapped his fingers, and they all charged. He ran off on all fours. He knew they'd eventually catch him, but he was going to give them a run for their money.

**Finally done. That took several days to complete. Though, there aren't as many words as I thought.**

**Alright with that Bible verse, it has two verses that MUST be read together. They are in Proverbs. Right next to one another. "Do not answer a fool according to his folly, lest you learn his ways. Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes." This is done this way to demonstrate timing. You gotta know when to do which.**

**Also, their are a lot more songs, but I forgot some of them and others I was too lazy to write. Others were too annoying for me to write. Also, with the "Pterodactyls don't have responsibilites, ke-kaw" thing, one way to respond to that is, "Turkeys don't have to talk to humans, *insert strange gobbling-like sound here*". Well, let me know your thoughts. **


End file.
